A Funny A Day Keeps the Boredom Away...

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in:
She said: Cheque books.

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The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

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Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

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Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

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Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A:  Because they are already leading a dog's life!

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Q: What's the difference between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

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Q: Ah Beng enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
A: Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

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What's the difference between a good secretary and a personal secretary?
One says "Good morning, boss".
The other says "It's morning, boss."